The Many Ways to Kill Kikyo
by Trissie
Summary: The many ways to kill Kikyo. So if you like Kikyo...don't read! Please review and tell us the ways you want to see Kikyo die. Co-Written with Mihy and MiyokoTribal^_^ ~THIRD CHAPTER UP AT LAST~
1. The First Way to Kill Kikyo

Amy-Chan: who hasn't dreamed about killing the evil Kikyo? I mean they kill her a million times and yet she won't die! Can't someone kill the evil bitch?!?!?! No offense to anyone who likes her, but I don't. This chapter is dedicated to my friends, Shawn and Brian. If you are a Kikyo fan and decide to flame me, remember: Shawn and Brian are backing me up and they have a bad temper and hate Kikyo more then moi!  
  
The Many Ways to Kill Kikyo  
  
Kikyo walked into her home after a long day. As she turned on the lights she got a strange eerie feeling. 'Must be my imagination' she thought as she made her way to her room. She laid down on her bed and stared at the pictures on her nightstand. "If only you two loved me the way I loved you," she said as she made her to her to take a bath.  
  
Little did Kikyo know that outside her window three girls were watching her. One with curly blonnet hair, another with short straight brown, and the last with long wavy brown hair.  
  
"Tell me again why we're here. You know I don't like being anywhere near her, Trissie," the girl with straight brown hair told the blonnet.  
  
"I know Shawn, I know Shawn. I don't like being here neither but I needed you and Brian to see something."  
  
She pointed to Kikyo's nightstand where two pictures lay. One with "Fluffy" in it and the other with Miroku. Both pictures had a heart around them.  
  
Brian and Shawn's eyes flamed up with hatred, no loathing. Brian was the first to break the silence of abhorrence.  
  
"How dare that bitch think that she could take Miroku away from me!"  
  
"I claimed Fluffy before she even knew he existed! That's it! This is war!"  
  
Both girls looked at the Trissie who smiled innocently.  
  
"What's the plan?" Shawn and Brian asked knowing that smile meant she was up to something.  
  
"Ok, here's what we're going to do." both girl's eyes widened then smirked evilly as they listened to the plan.  
  
As Kikyo stepped out of the bathroom (a/n: SHE HAS CLOTHES ON SO GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!! Shawn/Brian: you should talk!) and again got that eerie feeling. Just then a crash was heard through out the house. She went to go check it out. Her Sesshomaru and Miroku model had accidentally fallen over and broke into two pieces.  
  
Kikyo instantly panicked and started looking around for something to put the pieces back together. As if it were fate (a/n: yeah right!) she found a bottle of super glue on the ground next her beloved models. Since Kikyo was too busy fixing her loves she didn't bother to read the warning on the super glue. WARNING: SUPER SUPER SUPER GLUE. IF STUCK ANYWHERE ON THE BODY CALL FOR MEDICAL HELP. Of course she was busy to notice she got the glue on her hands and that she stepped on the glue bottle sending glue flying onto the wall behind her.  
  
All of a sudden there was an earthquake and Kikyo happened to be standing up when this happened and got flung to the wall. She tired to get away from the wall but found herself stuck to the wall.  
  
"I can't even reach the phone. This day can't get any worse!" (a/n: yes it can!)  
  
"Yes, it can," a voice said as 3 girls walked out of the shadows.  
  
Shawn was holding a hot glue gun, Brian with a bunch of really sharp arrows, and Trissie.well Trissie was holding something.  
  
"Oh good! Someone finally here to help me! I somehow got stuck to the wall!" Kikyo exclaimed looking relieved.  
  
All three looked really confused, so for lack of something better to do Shawn sprayed the hot glue gun at Kikyo.  
  
"AWWWWWWW!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!! I CAN'T SEE!!!!!!!!!!! LORD HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Brian walked really calmly up to her took her hand and stuck an arrow through it and then pulled it out. She then did the same thing to the other hand and while she was during this she was screaming, "DIE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO ONE CAN HAVE MIROKU BUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
While Kikyo was screaming, "THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS KIND OF FATE?!?!?!?!?! OH GOD JUST KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
After Brian's arrow assault, Trissie grabbed a knife to cut off the back of Kikyo's shirt and then turned her around. Shawn used her hot glue gun to put really hot glue on her bare back.  
  
Of course the misery was far from over, so Shawn and Trissie stuck her back on the wall except this time a higher so her feet couldn't touch the ground, while Brian put arrows through her hands and feet to connect her to the wall.  
  
After a lot more hot glue gun spraying, another assault of arrows, and attacks by using stuff found around the house. They decided to call it a night and get some sleep. Well actually Shawn and Brian wanted to sleep and they just dragged Trissie away with them because sleeps about 2 hours and 30 minutes on regular school nights and this is a weekend.  
  
Before they left Trissie put a tape in the VCR featuring the sweetest Inuyasha and Kagome moments. The worst part was they were the English dubbed. (a/n: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Shawn/Brian: nothing's worse then that!) Of course they left her pinned to the wall and stapled her eyes open. (a/n: at this point she's pretty much dead)  
  
~*The Next Morning*~  
  
After a full night of talking and no sleep Shawn, Brian, and Trissie came back to Kikyo's house. Instead of going through her front door this time they went in through the bathroom window. It was dark so they couldn't see anything. Brian picked up a candle and lit it. What they saw was very alarming. Kikyo's bathroom was like a shrine to Pokémon and G Gundam. A look of horror crossed their faces.  
  
They took the candle and quickly left the bathroom and shut the door behind them. "That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life!"  
  
The other two were speechless but nodded their heads franticly. After recovering from their shock they proceeded with the second part of their plan.  
  
Shawn and Brian went throughout the house and poured gasoline all over the floors.  
  
Then Trissie got a piece of cloth, put gasoline on it and wrapped it around Kikyo's neck (and all the while was laughing evilly).  
  
After the three of them were done they climbed out the bathroom window. They reach grabbed a match, lit it, and threw it into the house.  
  
As they watched the house burn down, they smiled in content.  
  
"I feel so relieved!" exclaimed Shawn as she twirled in a circle.  
  
"For once I agree with you," Brian said as Shawn glared at her.  
  
"Stop fighting you two and listen to the music of nature and torture."  
  
So for the rest of the day (or until the fire died down) they watched the burning house and listened to the wonderful screaming of pain.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Amy-Chan: Yay! I finished!  
  
Mihy: 'bout time. I mean you started this like a month ago and it's so short.  
  
MiyokoTribal: But Mihy, we were helping Amy-Chan, so it's also your fault as much as it's hers.  
  
Amy-Chan: Besides I was busy and you guys were too and besides don't make me have Kikyo kill you! Anyway please review and I have decided to continue this. So review and tell us the ways you want to see Kikyo die and we'll write it! ^.^ so please review!  
  
Mihy: and please remember we don't own anything other than the merchandise we worked our butts off to afford.  
  
MiyokoTribal: MINE! ALL MINE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Mihy/Amy-Chan: O.o  
  
MiyokoTribal: Amy-Chan I think you should tell them about the KHU.  
  
Amy-Chan: **getting over her shock** Oh yes! I'm starting up a small club called the Kikyo Haters Unite or the KHU.  
  
Mihy: And when did you start this?  
  
Amy-Chan: While you were on restriction. You missed a lot!  
  
Mihy: Grrrrrr....stupid restriction!  
  
Amy-Chan: And by the way if you were wondering... MiyokoTribal is Brian, Mihy is Shawn, and I am Trissie.  
  
Mihy: And if you want to be really nice you'll click the button to review.  
  
MiyokoTribal: If you're a Kikyo fan, please do us all a favor and don't flame. In fact why would you be reading this in the first place?  
  
Amy-Chan: So don't flame us unless you want to be burned.  
  
Mihy: And trust us you don't want that!  
  
Amy-Chan/ Mihy/ MiyokoTribal: Ja Ne!  
  
Amy-Chan: P.S. just to let ya know, I can't spell for crap. 


	2. The Second Way to Kill Kikyo

Trissie: I'm back! I know I haven't written another way for Kikyo to die, but I've been out of ideas. So, I'm begging you! PLEASE IF YOU HAVE IDEAS OF HOW KIKYO SHOULD DIE TELL ME!!!! I also want to thank everyone who reviewed. I feel so special^-^ I also want to thank those who reviewed the first time. I had to get rid of it because of some errors, but they were appreciated!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Kikyo was in her hut planning ways to kill Inuyasha after failing horribly (again) and she was getting no where. All of a sudden she heard a strange noise. It sounded like a .buffalo?  
  
Kikyo being the dumb person she is just ignored the noise even it sounded like it was coming straight towards her.  
  
"Let's see, how can I get Inuyasha? How about I shave off his hair? No, no, no, his hair is too nice to cut off." (Shawn and Brian stare at Trissie, while she just shrugs)  
  
Unbeknownst to Kikyo the sound was getting closer. Kikyo walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water since talking to yourself sure makes you thirsty. (Shawn: don't ask how come she has cups, she just does) She grabbed a cup and filled it with water. She watched as the water was moving. (Trissie: think Jurassic park) It was then she became aware of sounds of something running towards her.  
  
"MOO!" (Shawn/Brian stare blankly at Trissie who shrugs)  
  
Kikyo looked out the window just as the buffalo came right towards her. She barely had time to scream as the buffalo run over her house. The buffalo trampled her thinking she was part of the house. The pain was unbearable. I mean wouldn't it hurt if you were trampled by a stampede?  
  
By the time the stampede of buffalo passed by, Kikyo was dead and her blood covered the grass. The only thing left of her was one lock of hair which was floating and when it landed on a tree died and rotted. After only a couple of minutes the tree collapsed on Kikyo's flattened body and hut.  
  
No one knew she was dead and no one cared for that matter.  
  
~*~  
  
On a hill a couple of miles away Miroku was standing on a hill with his arms outstretched. He had been yelling, "RUN, LITTLE BUFFALO, RUN!!!!"  
  
*The End (for now)*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Brian: O...K...was Trissie on something when she wrote this? Do buffalo even say 'moo'?  
  
Shawn: I really don't know- -  
  
Trissie: Sorry it took so long, I had a lot of projects and I haven't gotten to talk with my co-writers in a while and by the way I know buffalos don't say 'moo' but oh well in my mind they do^-^  
  
Shawn: in case you got confused, Shawn=Mihy, Trissie=Amy-Chan, and Brian=MiyokoTribal. And the idea for this chapter was made up by me and my younger sister.  
  
Brian: If you really want to be nice would you'll review^-^  
  
Trissie: Sorry this is so short, we'll try and make the next chapter longer and use some of the suggestions we've gotten. The real reason we haven't been able to work on this is because of the worst torture anyone can face. School.  
  
Shawn: Please R+R-^-^- 


	3. The Third Way to Kill Kikyo

Trissie: Just to let everyone know my friend Hannah (Hannah: Makari! My name is Makari).I mean Makari wrote this and I bet you can guess what her favorite place is.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
One day Kikyo was walking retardedily across the beautiful Egypt. She decided to take a trip to see the top of the Pyramid of Giza. She needed a vacation. Trying to kill people sure does take a lot out of you.  
  
She climbed to the top of the pyramid. Once she reached the top she gazed in awe of the beautiful, wonderful, and spectacular sunset of Egypt. She falls to stand on one foot since the top was so small. All of a sudden she lost her balance and toppled down the pyramid to the hungry jackals that awaited her on the bottom. The jackals had sensed her evilness and followed her foul stench. There had been a shortage of food and when you haven't eaten, even Kikyo looked good to eat to the jackals.  
  
When Kikyo hit the ground the jackals approached her. She tried to back up but hit the pyramid. The jackals took that time to pounce on their prey. They gnawed on her pathetic head ignoring the tainted taste. She was screaming in agony.  
  
All of a sudden the Crocodile Hunter appeared with a big knife. "Crickey, I'll save you!!"  
  
He took a huge swig and missed. The jackal had moved out of the way. He swung again this time accidentally chopping off Kikyo's head. All the people of Cairo had come to see the jackal's food. They all laughed at Kikyo's pain including the Queen, Queen Makari. (Trissie: -_- Hannah...Hannah/ (Queen) Makari: ^.^Yes?) Because Kikyo had died in Egypt she had to face Anubis in the afterlife and he had to weigh her heart.  
  
~*~In the Afterlife~*~  
  
Kikyo's spirit was in a dark hall. She saw I light ahead of her. She followed the light and entered a strange room with Egyptian writing on the wall. The other thing is the room was a scale with a feather on one side. They was a person in the room except her had a dog head instead of a human head.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Welcome to the weighing of your heart."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Anubis took her heart and was about to place it on the scale but before it was even placed the side with the feather flew through the ceiling. That meant Kikyo's heart wasn't lighter than a feather; basically her heart wasn't pure. (Trissie: Well duh!)  
  
"Any last words?" Anubis said staring intently at Kikyo with his eyes.  
  
"Well, actually-"  
  
"Oops, I'm sorry you're out of time."  
  
"Wah?"  
  
All of a sudden a huge crocodile came in and swallowed Kikyo's soul.  
  
So in the end Kikyo body was not dead but so was her soul. After Kikyo's death Egypt became prosperous with riches and many other great things.  
  
The End.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Trissie: Hannah you are so dead. I can't believe you put that part in about Egypt in the end.  
  
Hannah (Queen Makari): I couldn't help it^.^  
  
Trissie: Grrr...**chasing Hannah around with her CZ (cow zapper) while Hannah runs away** I thought it was bad enough when you named our group for camp the Egyptian Hobbit Chinchillas but guess I was wrong!  
  
Hannah: That's all folks!  
  
Trissie: Anyway sorry it took so long I actually had this finished a month ago but I had a lot of work to do for school. I had to raise my grade in Science since I have a B+ which for me is the worst grade I've ever gotten. My science teacher is so old! He went to college in 1958!  
  
I hope you liked this chapter my friend Hannah wrote it and thanks to everyone who gave suggestions of how Kikyo can die I'm going to use them in my next chapter. (All of Trissie friends: Which will come out NEVER!) -_-  
  
Please review and tell me what you think! And also please check out the story 26 Pups 1 Babysitter! It's by DBZR and it's really funny and plus I'm in it!  
  
Review and Ja Ne! 


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